April 2010
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Weekly Beat #00 – 90bpm Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Alright, I’m gonna try sumptin’ out here, alright? Inspired by drummist Ryan Gruss’s blog, I will do my utter mostest to get a drumloop posted on every Monday from now until epic miserable fail.  That’s a promise!  :D/

So, for this, the first installment, I did what I will probably do every time, what came naturally.  Au, so naturale!  I busted out famitracker and did a slightly downtempo/hip-hop beat at 90bpm.  If you open the .ftm source file you’ll see I worked at 180bpm.  When using a tracker, doubling your tempo is the difference between 16th notes and 32nds.  You thus get twice the rhythmic detail to work with.  Quadruple your tempo and your work resolves around 64ths.  You get the idea…

I’ve been doubling my snares with a clap lately and this loop is no exception.  I used only the NES’s noise and dpcm channels.  I made a pitch swishy noise snare and put a 909 clap along it’s side.  Maybe next time I’ll try to create a clap sound with noise… the possibilities are endless!!  This is chiptune, galldurnit!!

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download b-knox weekly beat #00 – 90bpm
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Detect an Empty Set in jQuery Saturday, April 24th, 2010

I spent over a half hour looking for the best solution to this.  Personally, I blame the jQuery documentation.  When reading over the jQuery core description it states, starting in version 1.4, that jQuery returns an empty set but offers no method to detect it.  Ultimately, I found that .length is the way to go but I wanted to expound on all three methods I discovered.

count with javascript

  1. function jQueryCount(obj) {
  2.   var len = 0;
  3.   for (var k in obj)
  4.     len++;
  5.   return len;
  6. }

This was the first type of solution I found.  Actually, I haven’t even tried it.  I knew right off the bat there has to be a built in jQuery function so I kept digging…

.size()

  1. if ($(‘ul li:visible’).size()==0) {
  2.   /* do stuff here if no visible li elements exist */
  3. }

Yes! After scouring the API documentation for 20 minutes I finally stumbled upon what I was looking for — .size() It returns a count of elements inside a jQuery object. If there are no elements in the object it returns zero.

But what’s this?!?! The comments on the entry say it’s a stupid function that should be deprecated. The page suggests something better…

.length

  1. if ($(‘ul li:visible’).length==0) {
  2.   /* do stuff here if no visible li elements exist */
  3. }

.length works in a different way to get a similar answer.  It seems to be “faster, and more consistent to JavaScript in general”.  I hope this is helpful to someone in a similar situation!  :D

Last January, DJ (of Scared to Death) and I traveled together to Philidelphia for my 8static gig (performance pics here).  While at the event, we both saw how powerful a monthly event for a niche set of artists can be.  On the ten hour drive back home we had plenty of time to reflect over what we experienced : a healthy music scene.  There’s a very slight chance I brought out a couple people that would have been there anyways. Cheap Dinosaurs, the headliners, were probably responsible for a good chunk.  The rest could be there by habit.  8static has been on the second Saturday of every month for over a year (with few exceptions) at a certain yoga studio.

DJ and I looked on…  This is the underground working on love of a culture and not money.  Ultimately, we decided we wanted to, and could try, to build something similar back home in Ann Arbor, MI.  There are four main components necessary : the artists, a name or title, a venue, and a regular monthly slot.

8static is a chiptune event.  Ann Arbor and it’s vicinity has less chip artists than a luddite convention.  We obviously can’t do a monthly chiptune event.  So what do we want?  What are we?

Both of us perform as one-man-bands!  DJ’s project, Scared to Death, consists of himself, guitar, bass, circuit bent keyboard, and a drumset.  He uses loop pedals in an alchemical method to create an atmosphere and pulse that he then plays drums over.  I, myself, take the stage with chiptune and laptop compositions layered with my custom VIC20 chip instrument, ukulele and voice.

Essentially, we realized we didn’t want traditional bands which is still a pretty open invitation.  To try and quantify what’s acceptable I came up with a genre list : chiptune dubstep trip-hop synth-pop idm breakcore circuit-bent noise one-man-band ambient experimental.  LoBlast is a steady, public outlet for bedroom musicians.  …or something like that.

A couple weeks after our trip, and without much brainstorming, I came up with the event title “LOBLAST”.  LO is an abbreviation for LO-FI (opposite of HI-FI or “high fidelity”) and also for being “low” on the musical industry food chain.  BLAST is another good fit in all it’s connotations “I had a blast!” or “That boombox blasted me!”  So, one slow night at work I drafted some simple logo designs.

A few months roll by and I finally brave the adobe illustrator.  I still feel like a blind mule every time I try to use it, but practice makes perfect.  Huzzar!  Teh pen tool!  :P

…then you export something and import that thing-a-ma-jig into photoshop… and style the shit out of it! :D

I’m not happy with the ‘LO’ part, but that’s what I get for not following my own mockup examples!  I am happy with, however, the legibility of the logo.  I thought maybe the broken ‘A’ and the connected letters would throw people.  I’ve been assured it’s an easy read.  I suppose if people can read the 80′s NASA logo they can read LOBLAST.

For a venue, we’re lucky to have access to the 8ball Saloon hallway.  We both work for the Blind Pig, a local club, which is typically closed on Sundays.  The 8ball is in the basement, completing the complex with a cover-free bar, bathrooms and an alley entrance.

Last summer, a party got busted and the bands still wanted to play and the peeps still wanted to party.  With the owners permission, the party moved to the 8ball hallway.  This incident began an outlet for the Blind Pig staff, many being musicians, to host free shows and help sell $1 PBR’s.

Sometimes a touring act will get a show upstairs at the Blind Pig on a Sunday making the hallway that connects the two bars unavailable.  On very rare occasions these shows can drop on the calender a few weeks before.  So that’s a slight strike against us.  But, overall, we have a solid venue for ages 19+ on Sunday nights.

We decided to requisition the last Sunday of every month.  Our second loblast event  is already upon us!!  D:  Time is flying!!

DJ suggested a Missile Command theme for the flier.  I had a lot of fun making it …and… I think it works!  So come on down and enjoy cheap beer!  :D

Songwriting is like Constructing a Speech Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

Yeah, they require the same quantum mechanics.  It’s like alchemy, mixing the right elements in a correct order.  Get out your pogo sticks and start wrestlin’!

  • an attention getter
  • state your purpose
  • expand your idea
  • break it down
  • keep them interested
  • revelation
  • end with a ‘thanx’
  • Q + A

This, indubitably, is in abstract reference to the music itself which, thus, includes all countenance and hither to any such ambiguous proclamations such that antithesis rides again in a squandary of adhesive codas.  Pack your bags, it’s time for a vacation.  And nary the very inquiry that brought us here in the first place.  :D/

Big Brother Audition Saturday, April 10th, 2010

Since my split-second cameo stunt in Drew Barrymore’s Whip It, I have been on mailings lists for casting calls in the Detroit area.  For those who don’t know, the state of Michigan created huge tax breaks for film and television production a couple years ago to help stimulate one of the worst statewide economies in the country.  This, of course, has nothing to do with that. Big Brother is filmed somewhere in or around Los Angeles.

I’ve never watched the show and I don’t really intend to.  These reality shows take too much attention. I’d rather waste 22 minutes watching their non-linear, immersive ancestors: game shows.  Well, I don’t want to watch those anymore either, but NumberWang is alright. ;D

The Big Brother casting call (deadline April 23), I am sure, is overloaded with 1,000s of auditions.  This first round can be done by going to select locations across the country, each on a single day, or by snail mail.  Reqiured are a filled-out 13 page PDF questionaire and a 2 minute maximum video.  The remote locations film the video for you.

So, last Wednesday, I drive up to the Pontiac Silverdome with my thickly application.  One hour in the minivan, a giggle at the gate security, and then I drive upon a cluttered parking lot and a line of humans spilling out the side in the rain.  “Can I go pee before I get in that line?”

“What are you here for?”

“Big Brother audition.”

“This line is for America’s Next Top Model.  (indecipherable directions on how to find the lavatory here).”

Yay.  I go pee pee!! :D  Then, I check in and wait an hour to record my 2 minute maximum video.  I was given a MetroPCS shwag slap bracelet and then asked to fill out another form so I could have my picture taken.  Oh, but moments later I find out this form is for metromix.com and not the Big Brothers.  Oh, bother!  So I stole my picture from their article about myself and hundreds of other hapless wannabe television contestants.

Empty stadium in the background, check.  Slap bracelet, check.  Stupid grin, check.  I was so checked out that I only spoke for about 30 seconds when I finally got my turn, saying something like this —

“…but I’m not from Detroit.  I’m from Ann Arbor and everyone calls me Langel.  I work as a bouncer in a club that fits about 400 people.  I’ve never seen your show before, I have no idea what I’m trying to get into.  But my ‘strategy’ would be something like trying to get along with everyone because we do have to live together while getting eliminated.  I don’t like people, maybe that’s why I’m a bouncer.  But drama is worse than people.”

…and I’m sure I said a little more but this was four days ago.  :)  Maybe I should have stalled and relaxed for a second which would have resulted in my making an ass of myself  in front of the camera, probably more what they are looking for.  But who knows?  Perhaps the whole point of the video is to simply see which applicants can be interesting in front of a camera and give them an excuse to actually flip through their giant application.

I wouldn’t be surprised, for the semi-finalist interviews, that they might only give two or three days notice.  That’s a quick way to weed out those who don’t have the love.  LOL!  If I am called upon, I’ll be traveling to Chicago self-paid.  The finalist interview is in Los Angeles, lasts about a week, all expenses paid.  And, if you actually get on the show, you get some kind of stipend for only the time you exist on the show, paid out once the final episode airs.

Horray for waiting!  Man, all I want is to say “I’m not here to make friends” on national television.  :(

I WANT TO GET EXCITED!!!