It’s day one of the new year.   That’s “oh-one oh-one eleven” or “eleven eleven” as the kids say.   As I sit here, resting my bones, thinking about going out for orange juice so I can make mimosas with my champaign parting favor from a long night of dragging full-grown-grossly-intoxicated men through various hallways amongst other things, I began to reflect on an alliteration that has made me smile for the past few moons.

So let us begin alphabetically . . .

Webster defined feculent both in 1913 and 1828 as Foul with extraneous or impure substances; abounding with sediment or excrementitious matter; muddy; thick; turbid. But in later years, the Mirriam-Webster simplified it to foul with impurities : fecal. This, of course, is the adjective form, the noun form being feculence.

Guess what word is next in most dictionaries?

Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913 + 1828) defined fecund as Fruitful in children; prolific. Mirriam-Webster shows updated cultural influence – fruitful in offspring or vegetation : prolific : intellectually productive or inventive to a marked degree. Again, this is an adjective form.  The noun form is fecundity, the verb form is fecundate, and then there’s the loose cannon : fecundation (which I thoroughly believe to be a proper adnoun). Now, I think before I can continue, I shall perish without such a momentous mimosa!  I will adorn socks on the feets and straddle yon automobile for the procurement of squeezed fruitions from the phallic state of Florida.  Here I go!

Yes!  Can you feel that?!?!  My free cheap champaign is gone, I got a third carton of $3 OJ left, and a commemorative desktop wallpaper too boot!

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